Written in 2002, probably.
How David ended up dressed as Gilligan from Gilligan's Island is not important, nor a very interesting story. The only important thing is that David _was_ dressed as Gilligan from Gilligan's Island, and he was standing in the middle of the road on the outskirts of his rural hometown, keeping a lookout for the police who had not five minutes ago been on his tail.
However, before David could spot anything, a midsized vehicle traveling (fortunately) a bit below the speed limit drove right into him. That's what I get for standing in the middle of the road, I guess, David thought to himself as he lay underneath the car. A drop of motor oil fell onto his forehead.
"Are you all right?!" two voices screamed, simultaneously, from opposite sides of the car.
"Fine, fine, just fine!" David assured, rolling over and crawling out into the open, not bothering to get a good look at the driver nor the passenger. "Thanks, thank you." He stumbled away, sideways, and fell over. David straightened his hat a little, stood up, and brushed himself off. He walked aimlessly to the other side of the road, leaving the driver and passenger standing at their car, rather puzzled.
He came to a stop near a cluster of roadside bushes and collapsed there.
Not ten minutes later, he realized he was lying collapsed in a cluster of roadside bushes.
David, for the second time that day, got up and brushed himself off. Limping slightly, he made his way out into the middle of the road again. Squinting, he could see a bright red sports car-- the only automobile now on the road-- approaching from a distance. He positioned himself in its path, legs spread wide, arms up in the air. The car got closer, and showed no signs of slowing down. For effect, David waved his arms.
The driver noticed this, and slowed down to a stop, a mere six feet in front of him.
She was dressed in a rather elaborate wine-red dress, and her hair was in a curled, professional, off-the-shoulders style. She rolled down her window.
"Hey Gilligan!" she called.
"Hi!" David called back, and limped to the driver's side of the car. He leaned down to her level. "I need a ride."
"What for?" The girl squeezed her eyes half-shut in the glare of the sun.
"I'm running from the cops," he answered. Normally, David wouldn't have said such a thing right off, but he was running out of options. "Nothing big. Can I explain... somewhere that's not here?" David could hear the sirens again.
"Sure, man! Get in!" The driver smiled and sat back in her seat.
David resorted to hopping, as it was faster than limping, to the passenger side. He let himself in and fastened his seatbelt. The girl pressed on the gas a bit too quickly for David's comfort, and the car screeched forward.
"Nice car," he said, to mask his nervousness.
"Thank you," replied the girl.
David checked over his shoulder, sighed with relief, and faced forward again. Out of the corner of his eye, he got a good look at his driver's dress. It went down to her ankles. Her feet were bare.
"Nice... dress..." David commented slowly.
"Thank you," replied the girl a second time.
He waited a moment before asking, "May I ask why you're dressed that way?"
"Long story."
"I've... got time...?"
"Not as much time as it would take for me to tell the story. Because, see, every day of my life has been leading up to this moment of me wearing this dress and driving this car, and I don't really have time to explain every day of my life to you."
"I guess not."
A moment passed in silence.
"So..." David stared at his hands. "Well... so... who are you?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Who are you?" David repeated. "What's your name? Where do you come from?"
The driver blinked, then stared at David with wide eyes, as though shocked. "Why?"
"Because... uh... well..." David's mind spun, and he wondered why he was suddenly at such a loss for words. "I guess it's just... normal... to know who's driving you...."
"Wow. Wow, Brad, you got me there." The girl shook her head in what seemed to be disbelief.
"My name is--"
"My parents call me Cassandra, but for all practical purposes, I am Cassie. I'm 21 and I have half a bachelor's degree in political science. The saddest moment of my life happened when I was eight years old, I was playing with my favorite frisbee, and I accidentally threw it onto the roof. Never saw it again. That, Bradley, is all you need to know about me, because that is all about me that is still true."
"My name is David," David choked out, rubbing the back of his head nervously.
"Oh. Excuse me," Cassie apologized.
Another moment of silence. David prepared an explanation of himself, trying to make it similar in style to Cassie's. "My name is David. Everyone calls me David. I'm 20. I... I... I don't like Sprite very much. And I just got hit by a car about twenty minutes ago."
"Did it hurt?" Cassie asked immediately.
"I guess. I don't remember it very well." David shrugged. His right eyelid twitched.
Cassie sighed and nodded. "I've never been hit by a car, but I know what you mean."
David shrugged again.
"You never told me where you were going to," she brought up.
David paused, considering. "I guess I don't know."
"Well... that's okay." Cassie smiled at him. "I don't know where I'm going, either."
David relaxed a little, and held a hand against his eye to keep it still.
"So, you gonna explain the Halloween costume to me?" Cassie asked.
David opened his mouth to answer, but stopped himself. "Maybe if you tell me about your dress."
"You don't want to hear about my dress."
"Yes, I do," David argued in a soft voice. He watched the scenery go by outside his window.
"You don't," Cassie assured him. "You really don't."
"Well, tell me anyway."
Cassie sighed. "You're difficult. I normally don't pick up difficult people. Then again, I've never picked up anyone before. But, you know, you see Gilligan in the middle of the road, you stop, you know?"
Cassie talked very quickly.
"Yeah... I don't know... I've never seen Gilligan in the middle of the road..." David shook his head a little.
Cassie laughed so hard, the car swerved. David swallowed and grasped the side of his seat with the hand not covering his eye.
"Okay, okay, you win." Cassie brushed a tear off of her cheek. "Here is the story of my dress. Day one: I was born. Day two: My dad bought a Volkswagon Bus. Day three: My dad drives my mother and three-day-old me to--"
"Er, okay, I get the idea." David dropped his hand away from his face to get a better look at Cassie.
"I told you so," she replied, smiling and nodding her head a bit. "So, Brad, got a girlfriend?"
"David," David fixed. "And no, I don't have a girlfriend."
"Why not?"
"I don't want one." His level of nervousness increased.
"Why not?"
"Because I..." he searched for words, "...I want a boyfriend."
"No, you don't," Cassie corrected while shaking her head.
"Um..." David contemplated whether to argue, or let it go. "Well, yes, I do."
She sighed. "Are we going to start this again? No, you _don't_ want a boyfriend. Trust me on this."
David felt rather bewildered at this point and decided to keep quiet for a while.
The silence that followed was satisfying for Cassie. She liked it when people didn't argue with her, when she knew for sure she was right. For David, on the other hand, it was mostly uncomfortable.
"Um, but..." David spoke up again, roughly five minutes later, "...I'm gay."
"Sexual orientation has _nothing_ to do with it, David!" Cassie insisted, pointing a finger at nothing to emphasize what she was saying.
David went quiet again, relieved that she at least got his name right this time.
@_@
Around the time David no longer recognized the road they drove on, Cassie piped up. "Hey, you never told me why you're on the run!"
"Oh, right." David jumped a little, startled out of this thoughts.
"So?"
"So, I... well, kind of a weird story." David paused and tugged at the fabric of his pants. "The hat... well... see, this pop culture museum tour thing... came to town, and I went, and one of the things in it was Gilligan's hat. And I really like Gilligan's Island, so I leaned in closer for a better look. Well, all these alarms went off, and some guys were rushing to get me, and--"
"So you grabbed the hat and ran!" Cassie finished, excitedly. "Awesome!"
"Well, yeah." David straightened the Gilligan hat slightly on his head. "I mean, they were coming to get me already, so I figured I might as well make the trouble worth something..."
"That is the coolest story I have ever heard!" Cassie sounded genuinely thrilled. "And I've been to Mexico over a hundred times!"
David wasn't quite sure how to respond to this, so he just cleared his throat.
"Wow. I'm sure glad I stopped to get you. You live life on the edge, man!" she gushed.
"Well, I... I wouldn't say _that_..." David looked out his side window.
"Oh my gosh, you know what we should do?"
"No...?" David nearly winced.
"You and I should go on a trip together! Like, a big road trip! Wouldn't that be fun?" Cassie grinned and began nodding to herself.
Though a moment later he wondered why he didn't immediately object, David asked, "Road trip? To where?"
"Oh, I don't know..." Cassie shrugged. "Where have you always wanted to go?"
"Nowhere that we could _drive_ to, I don't think."
"Oh, come on," Cassie argued. "How about Canada? I've never been to Canada. Let's go to Canada! I bet the cops won't follow us up there!"
There was a mix of disappointment and intrigue in David's mind when he realized he had nothing better to do.
"Oh, and you never told me what's with the rest of the Gilligan outfit," reminded Cassie.
"Oh... that was all an accident. You don't really want to hear about it."
"Kind of like my dress?"
"Uh-huh." David nodded.
"See, now?" Cassie shot a glance at him. "In this case, I can't argue with you. Since you know the story and I don't, I have to trust you to know more about it than I do, and know whether or not I want to hear it. Does that make sense? You have to trust the people that know better than you. Which brings me back to the point of the boyfriend! Brad, what on _earth_ made you decide you wanted a boyfriend?"
"I told you," 'Brad' answered, "I'm gay."
"Oh, give me a break; that's no real reason," Cassie argued, scoffing. "Half the people on the planet want boyfriends and _they're_ not gay."
"I guess." David shrugged.
"Let me guess, you read some romance novel about two guys who hook up and it's romantic as hell and it all ends up perfectly and it's mushy and sweet and all that, right?"
"Uh..."
"David, it's _nothing_ like the gay romance novels say! Trust me on this!"
David thought for a moment, partly wondering how Cassie knew better than he in this case, and partly wondering where he could get one of these gay romance novels. "Well, no, that's not really why..."
"Then, what, you just want someone to make out with, or what?"
That wasn't exactly the reason either, but David offered, "Close enough."
"Listen to me David; boyfriends and everything associated with boyfriends are not all they're cracked up to be. Do you want to end up like me, David? Do you?!" Cassie looked at him, near frantically.
"I..." David blinked. "Aren't I already? I mean, here we are, going on a road trip together to Canada or wherever."
"Really? Road trip? Is that a yes?"
"Uh..." While David considered how to answer, Cassie confirmed one for him.
"Great! Just awesome! Oh, David, we're going to have so much fun!" She banged her hands on the steering wheel in excitement. "Oh, can you drive? Because I've been driving for like thirty-two hours straight and I've fallen asleep a couple times and everything, and maybe I should take a break."